Whether you've been dating or married for years, boredom is a natural occurrence in relationships.
However, it's not healthy for couples to let long-term relationships grow stale just because of boredom. If you truly value your relationship, you won't let boredom turn into disinterest or emotional distance, which can ruin something you've spent so much time nurturing.
Watch out for these signs of relationship boredom:
- Feeling dissatisfied in the relationship or just by being with your partner.
- The relationship feels empty.
- You don’t feel connected with your partner.
- It feels like your relationship is stuck in a rut.
- Things seem hopeless when you think about your relationship and your partner.
If you've experienced one or several of these signs, keep the spark alive in your relationship by trying one of the suggestions below.
Address your issues
Couples usually avoid discussing relationship boredom because they don't want to hurt the other person's feelings. They may even think that discussing it won't change anything or that it may take a lot of work to address their issues. However, avoiding issues won't magically resolve them.
If one person in a relationship is feeling bored, it's possible that the other half also feels like something is lacking.
Reevaluate your feelings and remember that you may be making a mountain out of a molehill. Unless you discuss the problem, you'll both keep assuming the wrong things until it's too late for any resolution.
To avoid hurting the other person's feelings, start the discussion by stressing that you want to save the relationship, not end it. Let your partner know what you're going through and be honest.
Never resort to passive-aggressiveness. Don't use an aggressive tone of voice and be honest during this important conversation. Show them you care, so they don't become defensive.
Be spontaneous
Structure and schedules keep things organized, but a set routine may cause relationship boredom. To maintain a routine without getting bored, you must both commit to the process.
Don't use your busy work schedule as an excuse for not spending time with each other. Relationships require work, and both parties must make an effort to prevent boredom.
If you have kids, split the tasks so you can have a nice date night. One person can look for a babysitter while the other thinks of a fun activity that you can both try.
Skip the movie night and do something more exciting, like taking a dance class, dinner at an exotic restaurant, or even something out of your comfort zone, like hiking and trail-running.
These new activities will help you feel energized. The excitement will also build anticipation even before the date night.
Refocus on each other's personal goals
Some people cheat because they feel like their physical or mental fulfillment needs aren't being met. To avoid this, reevaluate your personal goals.
After defining your personal goals, consider if including your partner will make it easier to fulfill them. For example, you can give them emotional support as they work harder to advance their careers, and they can work out with you if you want to manage your weight.
Talk to your partner and discuss each other's life goals. Let them know that you would love to involve them throughout this important process.
While your partner isn’t the sole person responsible for fulfilling all your needs, there's no harm in asking for their help to get you started. It can even bring excitement back into the relationship. (Related: How does your level of physical fitness affect your marriage?)
Balance your time by doing couple-oriented and individual hobbies
As a couple, you grow closer by spending time together on interesting activities that you both enjoy. But you can also prevent relationship boredom by setting time aside for individual hobbies.
If your partner wants to hang out with his friends during the weekend, catch up on your reading or set a date with your own friends.
A healthy couple enjoys spending time together as well as with other people.
Spend time with people who inspire and motivate you
Don't feel bad about cutting toxic people out of your life, especially if they drain you emotionally, mentally, or physically. Giving too much of yourself to others leaves only a little for your partner, which can strain any relationship.
Surround yourself with friends who inspire you and add value to your life. You can all learn from each other and enjoy hanging out at the same time. It's a win-win for everyone.
When you both feel happy and inspired, your relationship will continue to flourish.
Relationships change over time, but this is normal. You and your partner can keep the spark alive by being honest with each other and thinking of fun ways to spend time together.
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