(Natural News) Starting now, Americans are only permitted to eat one hamburger each, per month, in order to save the planet from burning up and burning us all alive. Instead of each American eating 10 burgers per month, we must all join forces and cut 9 of those 10 burgers out of our monthly eating habit, so we can stop all these cows from farting so much that the atmosphere blocks in the sun’s heat and turns us all to toast, and very soon (only 9 years left now).
This is core to the new climate requirement that the Biden Regime has committed to, thus lowering U.S. carbon emissions by a whopping 50% (no pun intended with whopper) in less than ten years.
The Biden administration has already admitted that they know this is a huge change for all the peons of America who are accustomed to eating 10 burgers per month. The federal government of America should consider having a national burger day once a month for all Americans to celebrate, socially distanced of course, and masks on.
All Americans must cut their chicken consumption in half in order to save Earth from spontaneous combustion, says Biden
Besides the new beef mandates, Biden has ordered Americans to only eat half the number of chickens each year. Every year, Americans consume 8 billion chickens. Each American eats about 27 full chickens a year right now, minus of course the vegans and vegetarians. This will save America before 2030, according to a random, inexplicable study done at Michigan University’s Center for Sustainable Systems.
What about the Chinese? Do they do this same plan in China, since the CCP is running the Biden Regime anyhow? Let’s check over there first, before we all go down to the horrific one burger and two chicken sandwiches a month plan, shall we?
There are two elephants in the room for this Marxist meat-headed plan. Let’s take a closer look. First off, every third American is overweight and half of those folks are obese. Who’s going to police their burger-a-month regimen, maybe the TSA at the airport when they check your vaccine passport can run some sort of quick diagnostic on all their red meat purchases? Will they be fined and go to jail for violations of the burger mandate, like people who don’t wear Covid masks in stores now?
Or, will they be wrestled to the ground, maced in the face, and shackled, until their diet can be worked out in jails and prisons? Only 4 pounds of red meat per year sir, and you’ve violated that by eating 64 pounds in 6 months. You will now serve 10 years in a federal prison. Do you have any obese children sir?
Why just burgers, by the way, and not any other dead cow meat?
And why is it only ‘burgers’ that Biden is concerned about? Why not steaks? Are all Americans poor in his mind? We’re all just lonely little renters on welfare, only able to afford those 99-cents double cheeseburgers and junior quarter-pounders at the drive through for McDummie’s restructured meat.
So what’s up with other red meat? What about salami, bologna, roast beef, corned beef, pastrami and hot dogs? What about sausages? So the whole plan to save planet Earth from global warming is based on everyone just eating one burger per month and buying an electric car for $55,000. Amazing. Let’s all get started then. Try regulating and enforcing that meat-headed plan.
Don’t forget, by the way, that most conventional “red” meat is bleached or ammonia-treated to kill the E. coli and then dyed back pink, like with hamburger and steak, to look attractive in the butcher’s window. They want consumers to believe that the meat just shows up magically, without all the horrific processing and inhumane living quarters.
Usually, there’s a picture or two over the meat section of some happy cows wandering the pasture, waiting to “help out” with the humans’ meat and milk “consumption problem.” Tune your internet frequency to Pandemic.news for updates on the Covid-19 Plandemic as it develops into a more severe biological war (plus fake global warming) waged by Democrats on all Americans. Remember, we’re all in this together, so one burger, one world, one cause!
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