Ben & Jerry’s rolls out “Bernie Sanders” ice cream that tastes like communism (satire)

This article may contain statements that reflect the opinion of the author

Bypass censorship by sharing this link:
Image: Ben & Jerry’s rolls out “Bernie Sanders” ice cream that tastes like communism (satire)

(Natural News) (Satire) Ben & Jerry’s is rolling out a new ice cream flavor that tastes like communism. It’s called, “Bernie’s Back!” and has hints of used sandals merged with the pungent scent of disheveled poverty.

The new ice cream — which isn’t a joke, by the way… it’s really a new flavor offered by Ben & Jerry’s — is free for everyone, but you have to stand in line for three days to get it. The goal is to get people into the practice of living under communism where everything is said to be free, but nothing is actually available.

Alternatively, a few lucky consumers will be allowed to go “full Venezuela” and dumpster dive for pints of the new ice cream in selected rat-infested cities like Baltimore, where “I scream” takes on a whole new meaning when facing giant, toe-biting rodents. (Not a good place to wear sandals, which is why Baltimore communists are missing so many toes.)

Every tub of “Bernie’s Back!” ice cream raises a ten-cent donation to fund the jet fuel needed to power the private jet flights of Bernie Sanders as he warns America about the climate change “crisis.”

Other flavors offered by Ben & Jerry’s to help celebrate communism include:

  • Rocky Road to the Gulag
  • Fudge the News
  • Gimme S’more toilet paper
  • Kranky Kamala pecan
  • I’m all outta cookie dough
  • Half Baked Economy
  • Urban Shitstorm
  • Rodent Swirls

All flavors will feature probiotics harvested from the actual sandals of Bernie Sanders.

Notably, this incredible variety of flavors and ingredients is only available for the Ben & Jerry’s production factories because of the efficiencies of free market economics. If Bernie Sanders’ ideas were actually implemented across America, there would be no ice cream for anyone. That’s why communists who actually want to succeed as entrepreneurs operate in free market nations like America, even as they are trying to destroy the very system that allowed them to generate market success in the first place.

Ben & Jerry must be ROFL, thinking how stupid Americans are to support communist leaders by purchasing ice cream delivered to them at affordable prices thanks to free market economics that communism would annihilate.

So if you want to live in a country where ice cream is affordable for everyone, don’t buy Ben & Jerry’s ice cream dream of putting Bernie Sandals in the White House.

Receive Our Free Email Newsletter

Get independent news alerts on natural cures, food lab tests, cannabis medicine, science, robotics, drones, privacy and more.

About the author: Mike Adams (aka the “Health Ranger“) is a best selling author (#1 best selling science book on called “Food Forensics“), an environmental scientist, a patent holder for a cesium radioactive isotope elimination invention, a multiple award winner for outstanding journalism, a science news publisher and influential commentator on topics ranging from science and medicine to culture and politics. Follow his videos, podcasts, websites and science projects at the links below.

Mike Adams serves as the founding editor of and the lab science director of an internationally accredited (ISO 17025) analytical laboratory known as CWC Labs. There, he was awarded a Certificate of Excellence for achieving extremely high accuracy in the analysis of toxic elements in unknown water samples using ICP-MS instrumentation. Adams is also highly proficient in running liquid chromatography, ion chromatography and mass spectrometry time-of-flight analytical instrumentation. He has also achieved numerous laboratory breakthroughs in the programming of automated liquid handling robots for sample preparation and external standards prep.

The U.S. patent office has awarded Mike Adams patent NO. US 9526751 B2 for the invention of “Cesium Eliminator,” a lifesaving invention that removes up to 95% of radioactive cesium from the human digestive tract. Adams has pledged to donate full patent licensing rights to any state or national government that needs to manufacture the product to save human lives in the aftermath of a nuclear accident, disaster, act of war or act of terrorism. He has also stockpiled 10,000 kg of raw material to manufacture Cesium Eliminator in a Texas warehouse, and plans to donate the finished product to help save lives in Texas when the next nuclear event occurs. No independent scientist in the world has done more research on the removal of radioactive elements from the human digestive tract.

Adams is a person of color whose ancestors include Africans and American Indians. He is of Native American heritage, which he credits as inspiring his “Health Ranger” passion for protecting life and nature against the destruction caused by chemicals, heavy metals and other forms of pollution.

Adams is the author of the world’s first book that published ICP-MS heavy metals analysis results for foods, dietary supplements, pet food, spices and fast food. The book is entitled Food Forensics and is published by BenBella Books.

In his laboratory research, Adams has made numerous food safety breakthroughs such as revealing rice protein products imported from Asia to be contaminated with toxic heavy metals like lead, cadmium and tungsten. Adams was the first food science researcher to document high levels of tungsten in superfoods. He also discovered over 11 ppm lead in imported mangosteen powder, and led an industry-wide voluntary agreement to limit heavy metals in rice protein products.

In addition to his lab work, Adams is also the (non-paid) executive director of the non-profit Consumer Wellness Center (CWC), an organization that redirects 100% of its donations receipts to grant programs that teach children and women how to grow their own food or vastly improve their nutrition. Through the non-profit CWC, Adams also launched Nutrition Rescue, a program that donates essential vitamins to people in need. Click here to see some of the CWC success stories.

With a background in science and software technology, Adams is the original founder of the email newsletter technology company known as Arial Software. Using his technical experience combined with his love for natural health, Adams developed and deployed the content management system currently driving He also engineered the high-level statistical algorithms that power, a massive research resource featuring over 10 million scientific studies.

Adams is well known for his incredibly popular consumer activism video blowing the lid on fake blueberries used throughout the food supply. He has also exposed “strange fibers” found in Chicken McNuggets, fake academic credentials of so-called health “gurus,” dangerous “detox” products imported as battery acid and sold for oral consumption, fake acai berry scams, the California raw milk raids, the vaccine research fraud revealed by industry whistleblowers and many other topics.

Adams has also helped defend the rights of home gardeners and protect the medical freedom rights of parents. Adams is widely recognized to have made a remarkable global impact on issues like GMOs, vaccines, nutrition therapies, human consciousness.

In addition to his activism, Adams is an accomplished musician who has released over fifteen popular songs covering a variety of activism topics.

Click here to read a more detailed bio on Mike Adams, the Health Ranger, at

Find more science, news, commentary and inventions from the Health Ranger at:

Diaspora: (uncensored social network)



Online store:

#1 Bestselling Science Book Food Forensics:



Health Ranger’s science lab

Health Ranger bio

Search engine: