Creepy Joe Biden promises to “cure cancer” if elected president in 2020
06/18/2019 // Ethan Huff // Views

Since every single Democrat running for president in 2020 has an identical platform of free stuff for everyone, no more white people, unlimited baby murder, and impeach Trump, Creepy Joe Biden has decided to differentiate himself from the clown pack by promising to "cure cancer" if he's elected.

During a recent campaign stop in Ottumwa, Iowa, the former Vice President promised his meager crowd that, if he wins, he'll make sure that Americans see "the single most important thing" in the world come to pass: "We're gonna cure cancer," Biden declared.

Biden has had eradicating cancer in his policy crosshairs ever since his son, Beau Biden, sadly lost his battle with an aggressive form of brain cancer known as Glioblastoma back in 2015. While still Vice President, Joe Biden headed up the Obama administration's "Cancer Moonshot," an initiative that aimed to achieve a "decade's worth of advances in cancer prevention, diagnosis, and treatment, in five years."

Well, we're already in year four since Cancer Moonshot's five-year goals were first announced, and next to nothing that we know of has happened on this front. What this means, of course, is that if Biden is really serious about curing cancer, then he's going to have to get busy right away if he plans to actually keep true to his promise.

In fact, if Biden's promise of a cancer cure actually has any real teeth, and isn't just another ridiculous campaign ploy like Vermin Supreme's infamous "free ponies for everyone" platform, then he's going to have to put forth some kind of evidence before the election to suggest that actual progress is being made.


Creepy Joe, the hair-sniffing sexual predator, will cure cancer just like global warming hack Al Gore invented the internet

While he did seem serious about all of this immediately following the end of Obama's second term, having headed up the Biden Cancer Initiative to "develop and drive implementation of solutions to accelerate progress in cancer prevention, detection, diagnosis, research, and care, and to reduce disparities in cancer outcomes," it's important to note that Biden has since parted ways with this initiative ever since announcing his bid for the presidency.

In other words, it would seem to be yet another example of a politician engaging in President Trump's famous phrase, "all talk, and no action." But what else would you expect from a political hack and sexual predator whom Vanity Fair describes as being "super-creepy" due to his questionable "hair-smelling" habits – both of adults and children.

Remember when former Vice President Al Gore claimed that he invented the internet? Biden's promise to cure cancer is about as silly as that, especially when cancer cures like all-natural cannabis already exist.

Chalk it all up to more campaign trail shenanigans of which, admittedly, both sides of the political aisle are guilty. Instead of making lofty promises that he most certainly will never fulfill, perhaps Biden would do better to simply go back to the basics by promoting individual liberty, limited government, and other constitutional concepts that the Democrats, and most Republicans, have abandoned in their quest for absolute power.

"We'll also eliminate the need for fossil-fueled power plants by replacing them with devices that draw electrical energy from the luminiferous ether," joked on Breitbart News commenter about other ridiculous claims that Biden might make in order to siphon votes.

"Jet engines on airliners will be replaced with flying reindeer. Every person will have a guaranteed income from the federal government of $10,000 a week. And this will all be paid for by a special species of trees in our national forests on which will grow the money."

To keep up with the latest Joe Biden news, be sure to check out

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