Zika EATS YOUR BRAIN, warn scientists in the latest Zika fear mongering campaign to sweep the media

Friday, August 19, 2016
by Mike Adams, the Health Ranger
Tags: Zika virus, brain damage, fear mongering

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(NaturalNews) Please protect your brain. You'll need it to participate in all the laughter and hilarity now spontaneously appearing everywhere in society as medical propagandists spread outlandish scare stories about Zika. Their latest ploy? Claiming that Zika virus can now eat the brains of adults and cause people to descend into babbling, obedient idiots.

Hilariously, as I look around society today, it appears this has already taken place. Turn on CNN on any given day and witness the scourge of Zika brain damage as junk science journalists try to terrorize the masses with irrational scare stories about climate change, farting cows or Zika virus.

Now, The Telegraph is reporting that "a new study suggests that Zika can also infect the brain cells of adults, causing long term damage to memory."

From the Telegraph story:

"Zika can clearly enter the brain of adults and can wreak havoc," said Professor Sujan Shresta, a member of the team from the La Jolla Institute of Allergy and Immunology in California, USA.

"Its effect on the adult brain may be more subtle, and now we know what to look for."

Watch out for these Zika symptoms!

Symptoms of Zika brain damage in adults include:

• Believing anything you see on MSNBC.

• Shopping at Whole Foods and thinking you're not buying unlabeled GMOs.

• Lining up to receive toxic flu shots every year (while being mercury poisoned in the process).

• Giving money to Komen for the Cure (and thinking they actually want to find a cure).

• Believing that government creates jobs (and the national debt doesn't matter).

• Thinking your depression is caused by a "chemical imbalance in the brain" that can only be cured by swallowing dangerous psychotropic drugs.

• Stupidly believing that no extreme weather event ever happened in the history of the planet until mankind began burning fossil fuels. (OMG! It's climate change!)

By these standards, it appears that the majority of Americans have already had most of their brains eaten by Zika, right? Technically, that makes them all ZIKA ZOMBIES.

The rise of the Zika Zombies

We have now entered the era of Zika Zombies: Lumbering, mindless, politically correct humanoids whose greatest cognitive achievements include sexting photos of their genitalia, demanding "safe spaces" for their fragile ideas, and bullying everyone in society to give them free food, money and health care in the name of "social justice."

Zika Zombies are now all around you... you see their dilapidated bodies stumbling through the cashier lanes at grocery stores, purchasing Pop-Tarts and Cheetos with government food stamps... wearing shorts and flip flops on long commercial air flights over mountainous terrain... nodding their heavy heads in agreement while the mainstream media tells them the answer to all their problems is bigger government programs. The Zika Zombies are exploding in numbers, yet somehow the cumulative, aggregate IQ of all of them remains a constant.

They vote in elections and can even appear to use words and construct meaningful sentences from time to time... but inside their skulls, their brains have mostly turned to mashed potatoes and gravy, which is why you never want to tip them on their sides, or the gravy will spill out of their ears, leaving behind just the mashed potatoes... which is the part that enjoys watching CNN fake news broadcasts on airport monitors.

The Zika Zombies run your local city council, by the way. They're also really big into "community clubs" and "run for the cure" events where hoards of mindless zombies pretend to be doing something important in order to create the false projection of compassion among their peers. They're also your Homeowners Association "weed Nazis" who terrorize the residents for not spraying enough poison on their dandelions.

Zika Zombies work at all the news stations, reading teleprompter scripts written by somebody else who is also likely a Zika Zombie and has no clue about reality. They are surprisingly capable or ordering bewilderingly complex Frappuccinos at Starbucks, yet simultaneously unable to grasp any principles of economics, social science or world history.

Have the Zika Zombies already taken over our nation?

Let's face the sad truth: Zika zombies have already taken over America, and now they're trying to convince you to join them in their cognitively impaired, pathetically pussified "safe space" existence that depends entirely on authoritarians to tell them what to think and believe.

FYI, effective weapons against Zika Zombies include flamethrowers, rocket launchers, and any sort of handy explosives you might see depicted in AMC's The Walking Dead TV series. Don't forget the crossbows, axes and chainsaws, too, all of which are traditionally used as weapons of mass comedic mayhem against the sci-fi zombie class.

The best zombie movie ever? Actually, the movie sort of sucked, but the book World War Z is quite good. (The movie butchered the book, as usual.)

By the way, just in case the U.S. government's Zika weapons program doesn't turn you into a zombie first, don't worry: They're also spraying brain-damaging chemicals across cities like Miami, making sure that even if Zika doesn't eat your brain, the pesticides will.

Because, of course, most of the people working in the federal government have already had their brains eaten away as a condition of being hired in the first place. How else do you think we ended up with the extraordinary incompetence of the EPA, FDA, DEA, USDA, CDC, FAA and every other failed agency run by mindless morons? Remember, before military virologists released Zika into the wild, they tested it on federal agency employees first.

And by golly, it worked! Shazam! We got the Bush administration... then the Obama administration... and soon full-fledged Idiocracy will be the new norm.

Go away! I'm batin'!