(NaturalNews) Coming to a college campus near you: an emergency response force that will address any bias — perceived or otherwise — that a student feels.

Sadly, this isn't a joke. It's a new entity at Boston College: The Bias Incident Response Team (BIRT).

But then again, maybe it's not the university's fault. When your student body is comprised of pansies who get their feelings hurt just by getting out of bed in the morning, what are you supposed to do?

As reported by Campus Reform, the Boston College Dean of Students announced the formation of the team recently after receiving complaints that the former bias reporting system was inadequate.

According to the site, the team consists of the associate dean of students (who no doubt has better things to do), members of student government (why is there a "student government" on a college campus?), student representatives (why do students need representation — can't they speak for themselves?) and three faculty members (who also, no doubt, have better things to do).

"Are your feelings hurt?"

Campus Reform further reported:

"In conjunction with the team's efforts, the school now offers a Google Docs form that allows faculty, staff, undergraduate and graduate students and any other individuals on campus to report incidents of bias with an option of anonymity. Those who choose not to submit the form anonymously are given the option of being contacted by the team while those who choose to be anonymous will be respected as not to be forced to relive the incident."

Goodness. Heaven forbid a student would have to "relive the incident." Egads!

Then again, if someone has to remain "anonymous," was the incident really that big of a deal? And in America, don't we have the constitutional right to face our accuser? Yes, we do — it is a little passage we like to call the Sixth Amendment.

According to Campus Reform, the form allows for screenshots of particular posts or messages that one feels are biased, and includes questions like, "Which identity characteristic(s) do you believe the perpetrator(s) of this incident was targeting?" Note that the language of the question ["the perpetrator(s)"] assumes guilt.

Also, there is space on the form to write as much or as little about the incident as the accuser wants or deems necessary (even if that means leaving out context or key details, because what good would providing a clear, precise account of "the incident" really do?), as well as where and when the incident happened.

And what constitutes a "bias-related" incident? Anything that any student wants to perceive as bias, of course. As Campus Reform noted:

"The Bias Response Team defines a bias-related incident as 'an expression of hostility that is motivated by a negative opinion or prejudice due to actual or perceived characteristics of a targeted person or group.' For each bias incident reported, the team reviews and determines whether a conduct or criminal process is the appropriate way to handle the case."

Boston College officials say they want to use the team as a means of making it easier for students to report bias, as well as a research tool to gather data on which student groups on campus face the most bias (that's easy — white Christian males).

No sense of humor

Michael Crupi, President of the Boston College Republicans — a group which, no doubt, could claim bias virtually every minute of every day — told Campus Reform that he attempted to contact the Dean for clarification regarding the new team and its role. While the Dean did respond to Crupi's email, he added that the top administrator did not include anything other than what was listed on the school's website.

"I firmly believe that a university should be a respectful place with free and open debate, where ideas are attacked, not people," Crupi said. "I also believe that talk of microaggressions is mostly nonsense."

He went on to say he doesn't support the response team concept because "it encourages students to ask the administration to solve problems instead of solving them amongst themselves and being independent."

Exactly.

Further, the team's existence "creates a false and dangerous impression that the administration can/should police speech on campus to ensure everyone is comfortable," Crupi said.

"As for people who take offense at every little joke, if we lose a sense of humor in society, we are in big trouble."

Too late. The mere formation of the BIRT means too many of the right people at Boston College have just lost their sense of humor.

Sources:

CampusReform.org

NaturalNews.com

CampusReform.org