Hey sheeple! Don't forget to use your JADE HELM Memory Wipes to erase any memory of freedom in America (satire)

Saturday, May 09, 2015
by Mike Adams, the Health Ranger
Tags: Jade Helm, memory wipes, satire

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(NaturalNews) When contemplating the purpose of the JADE HELM military exercises being planned on U.S. soil -- with Texas being declared by the military a "hostile territory" -- it's important to wipe your memory clean so that you don't remember all the times we've been lied to by the establishment.

JADE HELM may or may not be a practice run for martial law in America, but with JADE HELM Memory Wipes, who cares?

To help the sheeple easily assimilate into the new society run by psychopathic bureaucrats, we created JADE HELM Memory Wipes, now available at selected Wal-Mart locations. They're free when you purchase any vaccine, and they even help augment the lobotomization of your brain caused by vaccine ingredients like mercury and aluminum. By simply rubbing JADE HELM Memory Wipes on your forehead, you will forget all of American history, the existence of the Constitution and everything you learned in history class about the dangers of any military operating on domestic soil.

Who needs to remember history when it's so much fun to keep repeating it? Police state totalitarianism shouldn't be scary... it should be mindlessly FUN!

Thanks to JADE HELM Memory Wipes, you'll also forget George Bush's "Weapons of Mass Destruction" faked intelligence claims (used to justify war) as well as President Obama's promise to shut down the military's secret prisons and torture sites (Guantanamo Bay). As for all of Obama's other broken campaign promises, who cares? We don't even remember them because we enjoy using JADE HELM Memory Wipes!

JADE HELM Memory Wipes have a multitude of amazing uses. With them, you can also forget that Jimmy Kimmel made fun of vaccine-damaged children as part of a CDC-run measles scare operation, or that a top CDC scientist already went public with an admission of scientific fraud at the agency to cover up the links between vaccines and autism.

JADE HELM Memory Wipes are so popular that they've being given out for FREE by the TSA, but only after government perverts fondle your junk for the purpose of "national security." Whatever you don't remember never really happened, right?

Ask your doctor about JADE HELM Memory Wipes, which are also useful for forgetting all your medication side effects. Thanks to JADE HELM Memory Wipes, share prices of Alzheimer's drug manufacturers have reached an all-time high, and that's good for America's awesome economy.

Spread the word: If you don't like it, just WIPE IT! With JADE HELM Memory Wipes, available everywhere!





Click here for a hi-res image of JADE HELM Memory Wipes.