NOAA warns clueless Washington D.C. residents to carry winter SURVIVAL kits as epic blizzard approaches

Thursday, January 21, 2016
by Mike Adams, the Health Ranger
Tags: epic blizzard, NOAA warning, winter survival kits

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(NaturalNews) Astonishingly, the NOAA is now urging people in the Northeast to carry survival kits, warning that extreme blizzard conditions pose "a threat to life and property." (See warning text here.)

Funny, isn't it? Any time someone from the indy media urges people to get prepared and practice survival, they're called kooks and nut jobs. But now when the NOAA suggests the exact same thing, it's considered "government wisdom."

Apparently, "survival" is perfectly okay when the government says it. Then again, a government survival kit might mean, in their minds, a couple of Band-Aids and a flashlight. That's totally different from my definition of a survival kit, which obviously must include (shameless plug) my Ranger Gear Multifunction Survival Shovel! (Ha ha.)

Click here to watch a YouTube video of me starting an emergency fire using this shovel. Yeah, you can use a shovel to start a fire... but maybe not in a blizzard, unfortunately.

D.C. residents too stupid to survive? The NOAA thinks maybe so...

Fascinatingly, the NOAA also believes people in the D.C. area are so incredibly stupid that they must be told not to wander down the highway aimlessly (on foot) if their vehicle gets stranded. From the NOAA Weather Radio warning:

"Falling and blowing snow with strong winds and poor visibilities are likely. This will lead to whiteout conditions... making travel extremely dangerous. Do not travel. If you must travel... have a winter survival kit with you. If you get stranded... stay with your vehicle."

Really? You mean I shouldn't wear a tank top, shorts and flip-flops in my car, and then when my car gets stuck, I just start walking through a blizzard with no warm clothing and no shelter?

It actually sounds just as sensible as federal deficit spending, if you ask me.

And furthermore, if there really are people who try such a thing, why should we even attempt to stop them? Aren't they sort of serving the interests of humanity by removing themselves from the gene pool, thereby improving the future of humankind in the process? (Darwin Award...)

Seriously, if this blizzard passes and D.C. paramedics find fifteen frozen bodies wearing flip-flops and tank tops, we're going to have to declare D.C. to be an "IQ-free zone."

How far gone is a society that has to warn people not to die from exposure when they have a perfectly good shelter (i.e. their vehicle) right there to begin with?

Oh, and if you're driving around D.C. this weekend and you don't have a sub-zero sleeping bag in your car for emergencies, you're kind of an idiot... You already know the blizzard is going to produce whiteout conditions, so just stay home already! (And take a load off the emergency responders who are frankly tired of digging idiots out of the snow...)

Hear more of my podcasts at HealthRangerReport.com and check out my website at NewsTarget.com

Click here for my podcast on the D.C. blizzard.