Pop-Tart insanity: New law would make it clear that pastries are not guns

Thursday, March 14, 2013 by: J. D. Heyes
Tags: Pop-Tarts, guns, schoolchildren

(NaturalNews) In a move that signifies just how insane the gun control debate has become, a Maryland state senator believes that, based on recent events, it has become necessary to craft legislation that protects school children from getting suspended for making any perceived reference to a gun.

Sen. J.B. Jennings, a Republican who represents Baltimore and Hartford counties, wants kids to be protected from "the zeal of public school officials who are tempted to suspend students as young as kindergarten for having things - or talking about things, or eating things - that represent guns, but aren't actually anything like real guns," The Daily Caller reports.

As such, Jennings has introduce a bill called "The Reasonable School Discipline Act of 2013," according to local reports.

"We really need to re-evaluate how kids are punished," Jennings told The Star Democrat newspaper. "These kids can't comprehend what they are doing or the ramifications of their actions."

"These suspensions are going on their permanent records and could have lasting effects on their educations," he added.

'I was trying to make a mountain'

Jennings' bill calls for what he describes in a press release announcing the legislation simple, clear, straightforward guidelines on what is and is not acceptable when dealing with matters and issues of "children being children" (a teaching skill the one-size-fits-all education system in America has totally regulated out of existence).

The bill also defines appropriate discipline that must be utilized during the counseling of students of all grade levels in any Maryland school that uses public funds, said Jennings. And it includes counseling and disciplinary protocols for any violations by school officials.

Yes, America - the gun control debate has devolved to this ridiculous level. And yet, Jennings' legislation is sadly needed.

In early March, a Maryland father complained to local media that his seven-year-old son was suspended from his school for chewing his breakfast pastry - a Pop Tart - into the shape of what some idiot "educator" said was a gun. His suspension was for two days, according to WBFF in Baltimore.

"It was already a rectangle and I just kept on biting it and biting it and tore off the top and it kind of looked like a gun but it wasn't," seven-year-old Josh Welch told the station.

When pressed further, however, little Josh admits he was definitely trying to chew his pastry into a shape that resembled something, all right.

"All I was trying to do was turn it into a mountain but... it didn't look like a mountain really," Josh said. "[My teacher] was pretty mad and I think I was in big trouble."

When it didn't turn out like he wanted, apparently, Josh did make "bang, bang" noises while holding his pastry.

But come on. He's seven. And it's a Pop Tart.

Jennings understands the difference. Hence his legislation, which makes it impossible for minor incidents such as this to go on a student's permanent academic records, "unless it involves an upper-school student intent on repeatedly violating school policies with regards to firearms and/or violence," the paper said.

An attempt at restoring sanity

His measure also does not alter current guidelines for direct acts of violence or violent behavior whether involving firearm look-alikes or other devices, the lawmaker said.

Jennings believes politics will make it difficult for this adept attempt at restoring sanity to the gun control debate to actually pass the state legislature.

"There will be some opposition from the school board and the teachers and this is understandable," he said. "Educators are having to do more and more ... Sometimes getting a state agency to take action means the going will be slow. If the bill doesn't get passed, hopefully this will speed up the process of change."

And that change is drastically needed, he added.

"If we think something is wrong, let's talk about it," he said. "If it's truly a violent threat, let's talk about it. But let's use some discretion ..."

And common sense.

Sources:

http://dailycaller.com

http://www.stardem.com

http://www.wavy.com