Burger King (Japan) offers Windows 7 Whopper with 7 beef patties for $7.77 (satire)

Friday, October 23, 2009 by Mike Adams, the Health Ranger Editor of NaturalNews.com (See all articles...) Tags: Whopper, health news, Natural News

(NaturalNews) What do you get when you combine a good operating system with a ridiculously bad idea of a burger? Burger King's news "Windows 7 Whopper," made with 7 beef patties and sold for ¥777 (Yen).

The seven-decker processed beef burger clocks in at 1,000 calories, reports FoxNews. It's offered only for 7 days as part of a publicity stunt to publicize the launch of Windows 7, the new PC operating system from Microsoft.

Stacked five inches high, it's not yet clear whether customers will be able to shove this burger down their throats in the way Microsoft did with Vista a few years back, but at least with Windows 7, Microsoft has reportedly overcome its failed Vista launch by creating a new operating system that accomplishes what Vista promised. It even features faster application load times and faster reboot speeds.

Speaking of rebooting, eating a 7-layer burger in one setting just might give customers their own "blue screen of death" gastronomical event requiring a complete digestive reboot. You might need 7 anti-diarrhea pills and 7 days of rest just to recover.

Even if your stomach can handle the Whopper 7, there's a larger question of whether the planet can: The factory production of beef requires enormous quantities of fresh water. According to the Water Education Foundation, a quarter-pound hamburger requires roughly 1,300 gallons of fresh water to produce (by the time you factor in all the water the cows drink, the water for the crops fed to cows, etc.).

This Windows 7 Whopper might be estimated at five times larger than a typical quarter pounder. Thus, if you do the math, this 7-layered Whopper could be using 7,000 gallons of water to produce (give or take, depending on the size of the patties). In a world running out of fresh water supplies (fossil water), that's a huge quantity to plow through in one meal.

And this doesn't even take into account the CO2 emissions from the transportation and production of the beef, nor the climate-harming effects of the methane produced from all the cow farts (cows fart 7 times each hour, I've been told). In all, the environmental destruction caused by the fast food hamburger industry is at least 7 times worse than what burger munchers might have ever suspected.

Don't have a cow, man!

What's really astonishing about this is why Microsoft would want to tie their reputation to the fast food burger industry. When you think of what's really involved in manufacturing burger beef -- hormone and antibiotics injections, cows standing knee-deep in fields of feces, grotesque slaughterhouses where diseased but alive cows are dropped into processing equipment with the help of forklifts -- it's not exactly the kind of thing a corporation would normally want associated with their high-tech product.

Maybe it's all part of a series of new slogans, such as:

"Windows 7 - We slaughter the competition!"

"Windows 7 - Now you can destroy the (computing) environment!"

"Windows 7 - Junk food for your PC."

"Windows 7 - We bet you're dying to try it!"

One can only imagine what deranged thoughts must have been bouncing around the heads of these Japanese Microsoft marketing executives. Perhaps for the launch of Windows 8, they'll team up with death row inmates and have "Windows 8 sponsors 8 days of capital punishment featuring 8 murderers who each raped and killed 8 people!"

That would only be slightly less offensive than sponsoring a 7-layer burger at Burger King.

But I suppose, in the end, the stunt worked. They got press on NaturalNews, after all, and even we can't deny that the Windows 7 operating system appears to be rock solid. But your stools won't be if you eat a 7-layered Whopper, probably.

Sources for this story include:
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,569268,0...

Photo courtesy of CrunchGear.com:
http://www.crunchgear.com/2009/10/23/the-rea...