Health Update: Grazing Animals, Uninsured Americans and the California Hospital Strike (satire)

Friday, August 29, 2008 by Mike Adams, the Health Ranger Editor of NaturalNews.com (See all articles...) Tags: hospitals, health news, Natural News

(NaturalNews) A Google Earth study released this week reveals that grazing animals tend to align themselves with the Earth's magnetic field, explaining why they often seem to face the same direction when grazing in fields. This is fascinating science, for sure, but not nearly as fascinating as a similar study that found politicians running for office tend to align themselves with corporate interests.

Apparently there is some invisible force inside politicians that makes them feel strangely compelled to fall in line with corporate interests when grazing on campaign contributions.

The voters, for their part, tend to align themselves with whomever promises the most handouts, which is exactly what got us into this Fannie Mae / Freddie Mac mortgage fallout mess in the first place. Now, the voters think money can simply be created out of nothing and used to pay off all the bad loans, bad debt and trillions in voodoo economics derivates favored by bankers who do math like Enron executives.

To oblige this fiscal delusion, the Fed has decided to do exactly what the herd demands: Create money from nothing, and use increasingly worthless dollars to bail out rich bankers while the working poor lose the purchasing value of their hard-earned cash.

Number of uninsured Americans drops dead

The mainstream media is reporting this week that the number of uninsured Americans has dropped. That's because they're dropping dead from lack of basic health care.

What they didn't report is whether the number of LIVING people who have health insurance has increased (it hasn't). I suppose next, they'll propose that everybody without health insurance should be left to die, thereby achieving a health insurance rate of 100 percent!

Drug companies use the same tricky statistical fraud when reporting the results of their drug trials: People who die are magically "removed" from the study, and only those who managed to survive the drugs are counted!

The common mineral that prevents half of all cerebral palsy

A new study in the New England Journal of Medicine reveals that giving magnesium sulfate to pregnant women drops the risk of their newborns having cerebral palsy by half. Drug-pushing doctors, of course, rushed to the medical journals and declared that nobody should actually be given magnesium sulfate (a common mineral supplement) until "more studies are done..." a common delaying tactic used to prevent the use of lifesaving minerals.

This is the way conventional medicine enforces nutritional deficiencies in pregnant women: Keep the minerals away and discredit the research. Use drugs, drugs and more drugs to treat pregnant women and their babies with conditions that are almost universally caused by nutritional imbalances in the first place. It keeps the repeat business rate a lot higher -- and more profitable!

Hospital strike saves lives

California hospital workers are on strike today. The death rate in California has suddenly plummeted. It has been so effective at reducing deaths that observers are proposing hospital workers stay on strike permanently as a new system of "health care."

It will cost you, though: Doctors are already demanding extra pay for all the hours they don't work, because it gives them too much free time to go golfing and buy rare wines, and some of those rare wines get really expensive...

But hey, why not? The U.S. government already pays farmers to not grow crops. Why not pay doctors to NOT practice medicine? In most cases, the patients would be better off anyway.

Every time the doctors go on strike, the morgue empties out. But as soon as the doctors punch back on the clock, a death rate spike immediately follows. Hmmm...

Of course, the people dying the youngest are the doctors themselves! Kinda makes you wonder why people turn to these folks with issues related to life and death, doesn't it?

I know the answer: Because they're following the herd, and they've mysteriously aligned themselves with television advertising that absurdly promises lasting health if you'll only take their little patented pills.

It's been proven with pictures on Google Earth: Satellite photos show the majority of Americans all face the same direction...

... the direction of their television set!