Natural News Notes: FDA Inspects Wrong Factory in China (satire)

Monday, March 03, 2008 by Mike Adams, the Health Ranger Editor of NaturalNews.com (See all articles...) Tags: the FDA, health news, Natural News

You've heard about the recent deaths and extreme side effect in patients taking Heparin, right? As the mainstream media reported, a key ingredient in the drug was manufactured in a plant in China that had never been inspected by the FDA! It turns out that 93% of international chemical manufacturing plants that make ingredients for U.S. drug companies have never been inspected by the FDA.

Now, in effort to say, "It's not our fault!" the FDA has admitted that it inspected the wrong chemical plant in China! It turns out that two chemical manufacturing companies share a common name, and the FDA visited the first plant once, declared it to be safe, and then when it came up for inspection as the second plant, the FDA crossed it off the list because they knew they had already inspected it. Brilliant, huh?

I just wonder: Didn't the FDA inspectors notice that the chemicals being produced by the plant didn't match their checklist? I mean, c'mon: If you're at a plant that makes chemical X, and there's no chemical X being produced by the plant, that should send up some sort of red flag, wouldn't you think? Not at the FDA, apparently. They don't pay much attention to the actual chemicals being produced by these plants, it seems, and the fact that the chemical plant actually being inspected didn't happen to produce any of the chemicals the FDA inspectors were supposed to look for apparently didn't prevent them from giving the factory a passing grade.

Didn't the FDA goons think to bring along a Chinese translator on their little China factory escapade? FDA inspectors are apparently incapable of accurately reading Chinese characters, which is doubly shocking given that so many chemical ingredients in U.S. pharmaceuticals are now made in Chinese chemical factories. I don't read Chinese characters either, but I speak enough Chinese to know that the FDA inspectors are "ben-dan."

Even better: Fan-Tong! That's an insult that roughly translates into someone being as stupid as a rice bucket. However, I think the proper insult for FDA inspectors in China is actually "Bai-Chi" (with a short "i" sound). I'll leave it to you to figure out what that actually means in Chinese. Just don't go uttering it in a Chinese restaurant unless you like extra "secret" ingredients in your lunch special.

Let's blame all the gays for yet another medical disaster!

I chuckled when reading the recent headlines that declared homosexual men to be responsible for spreading MRSA (that's the antibiotic-resistant superbug that's now spreading through the population). Gee, I thought the old "blame the gays" tactic was worn out with the big AIDS scam, didn't you? But no, health authorities have found a clever new way to blame the gays yet again by pinning MRSA on them. People who have straight sex, they imply, must have some sort of undocumented natural immunity to drug-resistant bacteria.

MRSA, of course, is actually caused by the rampant over-use of antibiotics by doctors. Blast enough bacteria with antibiotic chemicals, and sooner or later a few of them are going to mutate to be resistant to that chemical. Multiply this by a dozen different antibiotics over millions of doses, and you've created the perfect breeding ground for superbugs that can't be killed by any drugs known to modern medical science.

So instead of blaming the doctors (who are really at fault), the mainstream media (MSM) has decided to blame the gays again. (As if they weren't getting stiffed enough already...) At the same time this story broke, by the way, reports also surfaced over high school football players in Texas contracting MRSA in record numbers. Notice the word "homosexual" never surfaced in those reports? Nope, those Texas boys apparently got MRSA from "contact with the football field." Sure. Football field. Don't ask, don't tell. Especially in Texas...

The hilarious thing in all this is that MRSA can easily be killed by colloidal silver, garlic, Chinese herbs or numerous other natural substances that modern doctors continue to pretend don't exist. While covering their eyes to avoid seeing any such herbs, they simply cry out, "It's the fault of all those homosexuals!" All while prescribing yet more antibiotics to children with mild sniffles, of course. Because parents aren't happy unless they've got their kids doped up on something, mind you!

I wonder how long it will take for modern doctors to stop blaming gays and start washing their hands while at work? Here's an interesting fact: The single most dangerous and most highly-infectious item in most hospitals is a doctor's necktie. Think about it: It dangles around, touching all the infected patients, and never gets washed. If you're in the hospital, steer clear of the neckties!

Al Qaeda tricked women with Down's Syndrome!

The MSM news headlines recently declared that women with Down's Syndrome have been tricked into serving as soldiers to carry out Al Qaeda's military objectives. This news was particularly hilarious, given that in the United States, countless young men have also been tricked into signing up for military service -- without being mentally retarded! In other words, in the United States, young men of average intelligence sign up for the very same scam that only mentally challenged people have to be tricked into doing in other countries.

What scam is that? Fighting a rich man's war that protects corporate interests. Notice that the people who declare war never fight that war? They always manage to sign up a bunch of grunts to fight for them. Back in World War II, grunts were often pretty smart folks and were actually fighting for real freedom. Today, with the watering down of the U.S. educational system, the ignorant masses can easily be tricked into thinking that invading other countries is how we "defend freedom." (War is peace, ignorance is freedom and so on...)

President Bush introduces new $3.1 trillion budget: A blueprint for the financial demise of America

U.S. President George W. Bush has sent a $3 trillion dollar budget proposal to Congress. While he claims the budget will "keep America strong," the truth is that the document will only "keep America broke" and serves mostly as a blueprint for America's own financial demise.

Engineered with creative accounting tricks that would be criminal acts if committed by businesses, Bush's new $3.1 trillion budget is based on an admitted $410 billion budget deficit in 2008 and another $407 billion 2009. But somehow, through the magic of numbers that mysteriously shift in the future when you're no longer in office, Bush claims his budget will produce a $48 billion surplus in 2012.

That assumes, of course, that the United States is still financially solvent by 2012. No nation has ever survived a $6 trillion national debt, and U.S. politicians seem to believe that the only way to solve the debt problem is to spend so much money on war that nobody notices the debt. It's a brilliant plan, of course, right up until the day it no longer works. And then it's a disastrous plan. But Bush will be out of office by then, so who cares? His best hope is that he can offload the nation's financial worries to a Democrat and blame the inevitable economic collapse on the next person foolish enough to take command of this country's looming fiscal fallout.

If there is any real improvement in the long-term budget of this country, it will primarily be due to the fact that the intellectually-challenged war monger currently occupying the White House will soon be Constitutionally required to leave his office and hand it over to someone else. Someone who will hopefully be less insistent about pursuing nonstop war as his (or her) core economic policy.