Originally published June 2 2014
Lipstick on the cellular: 'Chexting' is the new trend for cheaters
by Mike Bundrant
(NaturalNews) Most people have heard of the term sexting. Now, a new text term is taking over: chexting.
Curious about what that means? Just ask celebrities like Jesse James and Tiger Woods. The term describes the act of cheating on a partner or spouse using an electronic medium, such as a text message, internet chat room, or instant message app.
While some would argue that this form of communication isn't strictly cheating; others tend to disagree; including the court system in most states.
Peter Dedman of Predicto Mobile has labeled evidence such as incriminating texts, chats, and emails as "lipstick on the cellular."
With more and more people using text as their primary way of communicating, this type of cheating on a partner or spouse is becoming more and more common. In fact, according to one family law attorney in Los Angeles, the number of divorce cases involving spouses who have been unfaithful using technology is skyrocketing.
Some believe this is in part because the act of chexting isn't finished once the messages are sent. Instead, one or both parties can continue to re-read the messages throughout the day. This allows them to become aroused over and over again. Basically, chexting is a convenient way to avoid your responsibility at home and remain obsessed with the fantasy of the other man or woman.
According to certified sex therapist and clinical psychologist Stella Resnick, chexting behavior is perceived as a liberating measure. Asserting independence from their spouse or partner gives the perpetrators a feeling of power and excitement. Of course, common sense dictates that this feeling of power is an illusion. It is actually an act of cowardice performed by people who cannot deal with problems straightforwardly.
Most people who participate in chexting don't realize how vulnerable they leave themselves to getting caught. In many cases, they end up simply slipping up, sending an incriminating message or photo to the wrong contact, accidentally outing themselves. In many instances, they even end up sending the evidence to their spouses themselves!
Even if they don't blatantly give themselves away, they're still not safe from discovery. According to Dedman, one of the first places suspicious partners and spouses look for evidence of cheating isn't in the messages themselves; it's in the contact list. Furthermore, even deleting past texts and messages doesn't mean that the content is no longer stored in the phone's memory. There are many software downloads that have been created for the sole purpose of retrieving data that has been removed or deleted from a phone or computer's memory.
Problems at home? Deal with them like an adult with these tips:
Realize there is nothing wrong with wanting to get out of a relationship. You may no longer love your partner and want your freedom. Yet, you have legal or ethical obligations toward the one to whom you once professed your love and devotion. Sneaking around by chexting and having a physical or emotional affair is a childish way to handle your situation. Put on your big boy/girl pants and make your desires and needs known. This is how adults work things out.
If you sneak around with someone who is just fine having a relationship with you while you are cheating, then you shouldn't delude yourself into believing you have something real. You're not necessarily creating something new that you can count on.
Most of all, if you're having trouble in your relationship; if things are not what they once where, then learn how relationships are supposed to work. Learn what makes successful romantic relationships possible.
For example, according to relationship experts Jake and Hannah Eagle, healthy romantic relationships are based on compatibility in four key areas: values, life dreams, communication styles and chemistry. All four areas are vital to the long-term success of the partnership.
Further, it takes time and mutual life experience to determine deep compatibility. Most couples simply do not take that time, or even make themselves conscious of the critical areas of compatibility. If you're starting a new relationship, make the investment in relationship education because this can make all the difference in the long run. If you're in the middle of a relationship that might go sideways, it is critical that you learn the issues that are causing problems and handle them like a mature adult.
To learn more about the Eagle's Dating, Relating and Mating online program, click here.
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About the author:
Watch the free video The AHA! Process: An End to Self-Sabotage and discover the lost keys to personal transformation and emotional well-being that have been suppressed by mainstream mental health for decades.
The information in this video has been called the missing link in mental health and personal development. In a world full of shallow, quick-fix techniques, second rate psychology and pharmaceutical takeovers, real solutions have become nearly impossible to find. Click here to watch the presentation that will turn your world upside down.
Mike Bundrant is co-founder of the iNLP Center and host of Mental Health Exposed, a Natural News Radio program.
Follow Mike on Facebook for daily personal development tips.
Watch the free video The AHA! Process: An End to Self-Sabotage and discover the lost keys to personal transformation and emotional well-being that have been suppressed by mainstream mental health for decades.
The information in this video has been called the missing link in mental health and personal development. In a world full of shallow, quick-fix techniques, second rate psychology and pharmaceutical takeovers, real solutions have become nearly impossible to find. Click here to watch the presentation that will turn your world upside down.
Mike Bundrant is co-founder of the iNLP Center and host of Mental Health Exposed, a Natural News Radio program.
Follow Mike on Facebook for daily personal development tips.
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