Originally published October 15 2013
Researchers say marital satisfaction is based on this specific gene: Are you a victim of bad relationship genetics?
by Mike Bundrant
(NaturalNews) As the trend to attribute everything to physiology and genetics rages on, researchers from UC Berkeley and Northwestern University claim that genes are what determine satisfaction in your marriage.
Specifically, the 5-HTTLPR gene, which you received from both parents, is said to be the cause of marital bliss or discord.
Scientists studied 156 couples over a 13-year period and surveyed them to assess how happy their marriage was.
Study participants with two short 5-HTTLPR alleles were found to be more disturbed when negative emotions surfaced between partners in the marriage. Those with two long 5-HTTLPR alleles reported not being bothered when negative emotions arose.
The conclusion, therefore, is that people with the longer version of the gene won this lottery because they have the ability to remain happier in a long-term relationship, which is bound to encounter emotional highs and lows.
Warning: How you apply this knowledge is EVERYTHING
Like most physiological discoveries, this one is riddled with opportunity for self-sabotage. Here are some examples of how you might take this genetic discovery claim and ruin your life with it:
I'm not marriage material. I've got the bad marriage gene.
So what if I'm immature. It's all in the genes, baby!
Our marriage is doomed because my husband has bad genes!
It's so easy to blame your genes, especially when some genetic expressions seem to be set in stone, like your height.
Don't be so quick to conclude that your genes are your master, however. Were you aware that stress and your subjective beliefs determine which genes are expressed?
Upgrade your brain
In his book The Genie in Your Genes, researcher Dawson Church identifies the connection between your thoughts, beliefs and genes.
"Your body reads your mind," Church says. "Science is discovering that while we may have a fixed set of genes in our chromosomes, which of those genes is active has a great deal to do with our subjective experiences, and how we process them."
An Ohio University study reflected this relationship between stress and healing. Researchers gave married couples small suction blisters on their skin, after which they were instructed to hold a conversation about either a neutral topic or a topic of dispute.
Researchers then monitored the production of proteins that regulate healing for the next several weeks. What they discovered was amazing. The blisters healed 40 percent slower in participants who'd had argumentative conversations.
Your thoughts, beliefs and chosen interactions with others affect your genes. In other words, YOU are the master of your genes, not the other way around.
Before you get a test and conclude that your genes have made you bad marriage material, realize that you can consciously determine to make the most of what you have, and people who make that choice always fare better than those who see their lives, consciously or unconsciously, as being determined by forces outside of their control.
What you can do to improve your relationship, regardless of your predisposition
1. Study self-sabotage and the limiting beliefs that guide your toward discontent. If genes represent your negative predisposition toward relationships, self-sabotage is the nail in the coffin. No other mental or emotional phenomenon has more impact than self-sabotage.
2. Put your relationship first. So much competes for our attention: earning a living, hobbies, health and fitness, social opportunities and the daily grind. NONE of this can make you as happy as being in a satisfying romantic relationship, however. So often we put our relationships in the back seat, even though we are not happy doing so.
3. Learn to communicate with maturity. If there were one thing to ban from your marriage, it is immaturity. You can be angry, jealous, worried, stressed, anxious or demanding. It's all fine. These are all normal emotions. The problem comes when you express your feelings immaturely. Communicating like an adult is the difference that makes all the difference.
The dark side
Of course, the dark side of all this is revealed when researchers fail to point out that you are the one who determines if you make the most of what you've got. If we are not careful, we'll fall for the brainwashing that everything is genetic and empower those who'd rather filter out the low end of the gene pool.
Don't fall for it. Your mindset is more important than your genes. And this is great news because you can consciously grow and develop a healthy mindset.
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Sources:
http://www.uncommondescent.com
http://www.nydailynews.com
About the author:
Watch the free video The AHA! Process: An End to Self-Sabotage and discover the lost keys to personal transformation and emotional well-being that have been suppressed by mainstream mental health for decades.
The information in this video has been called the missing link in mental health and personal development. In a world full of shallow, quick-fix techniques, second rate psychology and pharmaceutical takeovers, real solutions have become nearly impossible to find. Click here to watch the presentation that will turn your world upside down.
Mike Bundrant is co-founder of the iNLP Center and host of Mental Health Exposed, a Natural News Radio program.
Follow Mike on Facebook for daily personal development tips.
Watch the free video The AHA! Process: An End to Self-Sabotage and discover the lost keys to personal transformation and emotional well-being that have been suppressed by mainstream mental health for decades.
The information in this video has been called the missing link in mental health and personal development. In a world full of shallow, quick-fix techniques, second rate psychology and pharmaceutical takeovers, real solutions have become nearly impossible to find. Click here to watch the presentation that will turn your world upside down.
Mike Bundrant is co-founder of the iNLP Center and host of Mental Health Exposed, a Natural News Radio program.
Follow Mike on Facebook for daily personal development tips.
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