Originally published August 2 2008
How to Make Friends and Keep Them
by Michael Cambray
(NaturalNews) All books on friendships and relationships emphasize that to be successful in life, it is vital to love your self. If we see only our faults, then we subconsciously expect others to see only our faults. Consequently we are always waiting to be rejected. You are unique, not a carbon copy of anyone else. There is absolutely no need to measure your self against others.
One of the most important features of beginning a friendship is to not be scared. There is a tendency to make assumptions on what another person may be thinking. A guy may think, "I'd like to dance with that lovely lady, but I am not good looking enough and she is going to say no, I'm sure". Meantime she is thinking, "I wish that hunky guy over there would ask me to dance!" Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. If you don't ask, you don't get! The absolute worse thing that can possibly happen is a lady says no. Relationship or friendship can be a numbers game, the next lady will say yes!
People who are not secure in their ability to make friends are usually scared of what other people are thinking. Who really cares what other people think? Nobody is perfect and if someone doesn't seem to like you, then it's their problem, not yours. Talk to someone else!
Always remember that in the beginning of a friendship everyone is on his or her best behavior. Give everything a little time. There are occasions when an instant friendship occurs but mostly it takes time to develop. Don't be all over the other person at first; just take it easy as you get to know each other.
We cannot expect to go through life without having a personality clash with someone. Often people are frightened of upsetting someone else in case they lose the friendship. If the other party cannot accept honesty and communication then they are not much of a friend! Either that or they are manipulating you in some way and you don't need that!
You cannot have an argument if only one person argues. Think about that, we all have different points of view and good friends agree to disagree and get on with their lives. It is most important when you have a good friend not to play games or try to change them. Unfortunately some people tend to do this. Why change what is working? It is a quick way to end the relationship.
True friendship consists of rejoicing in the other person's good fortunes, offering cheer in times of distress, sympathy in adversity, advice during trouble, and material help in times of real need. True friendship is broad and inclusive.
Value a friendship, for it is an expression of the flower of true love. If you hold a flower in your hand, how can you crush it?
Excerpt from Michael's book 'Solutions with Pearls of Wisdom' based on 30 years experience as a Naturopath. For copies, email: [email protected] .
About the author
Michael Cambray is a retired naturopath and has accumulated specialised knowledge of many alternative health subjects over the past thirty years. Michael has diplomas in many alternative subjects and has published 13 books on various topics plus a popular Australian monthly newsletter.
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