Tylenol introduces candy-like pain medication with strong minty taste and instant cooling effect

Sunday, August 22, 2004 by Mike Adams, the Health Ranger Editor of NaturalNews.com (See all articles...) Tags: Tylenol, over-the-counter medications, candy bars

https://www.naturalnews.com/002242.html

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How bizarre is this? It’s not enough that we’re feeding our kids candy containing refined sugars and artificial colors, but now we’re going to put drugs in the candy as well -- especially drugs that are known to have toxic side-effects and can impair liver function? Maybe next we’ll have Crack Gumdrops and hand them out on Halloween to kids who are already dosed up on Ritalin Lollipops. Maybe hip, cool adults will start taking Tylenol as breath mints because, if there’s anything worse than having bad breath on a hot date, it’s having a headache after the date. But hey! Why stop at turning painkillers into candy? Why don’t we have the Chocolate Statin Bar, where you can get both a dose of delicious milk chocolate and your favorite cholesterol-lowering Statin drug at the same time.

And what a coincidence: The FDA covers both food and drugs. By actually combining food with drugs, they could kill two birds with one stone and end up regulating one group of products instead of two. Think of the efficiency savings at the FDA alone.

The whole idea of transforming candy into pharmaceuticals is especially bizarre given that it is candy that causes so many health problems in the first place. The consumption of refined carbohydrates, hydrogenated oils, saturated fats, white flour, artificial chemical sweeteners, and other ingredients found in candy products are major contributors to the sky-rocketing incidence of chronic disease in this country.

But, then again, maybe it’s a great idea. Put the disease-causing ingredients and the symptom-masking ingredients into the same candy bar. That way, people can both be diseased and treated by conventional medicine in the same delicious, chewy bite. It would certainly make inventory control much easier for Walgreen’s because today they have to put the candy bars at the front of the store and the drugs at the back of the store. By combining the drugs with the health-degrading candy bars, they could save a tremendous amount of floor space and simplify inventory. The only downside, of course, is that every candy bar would cost $15.00 and it would be illegal to buy them in Canada.

But on the bright side, politicians would get re-elected by handing out doped-up candy bars to elderly voters who somehow manage to get up off of their walkers and canes just long enough to punch a vote and gulp a couple of Prozac Pralines.

By the way, a Tylenol spokesperson says, “This is certainly not about making medicines fun, because medicines are serious business.”